At my part-time gig at UPS, I work alongside a lot of young(er) people. I don’t mind working with them…until I realize that I could be their mother. Then I get a horrible pain in my gut and a sadness deep in my soul from the realization that I am no longer the youngest person in the room. Growing older is physically AND mentally painful at times. *Big sigh and some tears*.
Last night, two of the young men I work with were telling me about their love lives. Being that my dating life has been non-existent-and by non-existent, I mean as thriving as an orchid in Death Valley- I was all over this conversation.
Kevin and Cesar are both very responsible, mature, and respectful young men. I love working with them because I know they will do their jobs and do it well. Plus, I am flattered, and a little humored given my lack of a dating life, that they thought to pick my brain on the issue.
During our conversation, Kevin asked my opinion on where he should take the girl he’s interested in on a first date. Immediately my “mom-sense” kicked in and I started rattling off questions in order to learn more about her.
My savvy spy-like reporter skills acquired the following intel about the “candidate”: She’s going to school to be a vet; she likes animals (this one was kind of obvious given the vet thing); he’s known her since grade school.
Kevin’s main concern is that he doesn’t want to move things along too fast and take her on an over-the-top expensive date. Smart boy.
My suggestion? Day date to the Denver Zoo. It’s more casual, it involves animals, lunch is cheaper than dinner, you can walk and chat, and if she ends up being a nutter, he can blend into the crowd and run.
Check out the zoo’s site here at: https://www.denverzoo.org/
Now, being a Taurus (if you are unfamiliar with the Taurus sign, you might not know that we are the creators of love and sex. Thank you Google!) and a hopeless romantic, there is another reason behind the zoo date.
If things work out and they end up becoming a couple, he can take her to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs for their first anniversary.
The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is unlike any zoo I have ever seen. It butts up against the beautiful mountains in Colorado Springs. The scenery combined with the animals is unmatched by any other zoo. It is has been named the 4th best zoo in America by USA Today’s 10 Best. You can check it out at this link: http://www.cmzoo.org/index.php/about-the-zoo/
Ba-bing baby! Not only will Kevin have a great first date idea, he can keep the first year anniversary plan in his back pocket.
Now Cesar has the opposite dilemma. He’s trying to figure out a way to back out of a date. While he likes the girl, she has too much personal drama and issues going on. Another smart boy!!
Before really getting to know this gal, Cesar invited her on a camping trip over the upcoming spring break. Knowing what he knows now, he wants to un-invite her but doesn’t want to come off as an ass. I get it, no one wants to be a jerk.
My suggestion? Casually throw out the words “extreme camping” the next time he talks to her about the trip. Tell her that she will need to pack light because they will be hiking into the woods. Stress the fact that there will be no toilets or running water; the bathroom is the closest tree so bring toilet paper. Ask her if she’s skilled at gutting fish. Remind her to bring bug spray and a snake bite kit. Reiterate that she will be hanging out with ten guys…without cell phone service or another female to talk to for miles. MILES! Basically, scare the crap out of her and let her back out.
Don’t get me wrong, I love camping- even remote tent camping. But when it comes to squatting out in the wilderness to take a pee….mmmm, no thanks I’ll pass.
In addition to date ideas, I made sure to school them both on a few red flags to look for in any girl.
-If she never, ever offers to pay for anything- popcorn, the tip, an Uber, a box of Kleenex, etc.- kick her to the curb.
-If she starts to demand every waking minute of your time and your relationships with your friends, family, work, and school begin to suffer- kick her to the curb.
-If she goes days without responding back to you, either by a phone call, email, text, smoke signals, carrier pigeon- you get the idea-for no reason other than to play hard to get- kick her to the curb.
Disclaimer: The above mentioned curb kicker does not mean that anyone, guy or girl, should be expected to respond to your text, email, or call immediately or even a couple of hours after you reached out. However, if you repeatedly try to reach her and she casually responds back days later with no valid excuse or acceptable explanation, then adios muchacha.
-If she plays any sort of game that makes you feel terrible about yourself- to the curb sister!
In reality, the above red flags pertain to both men and women.
By no means am I an expert at dating. But, I have learned a few lessons along the way and I think passing them on to the younger folk is important. No one likes heartache and if they go into a relationship with eyes wide open, they can skirt a possible unhealthy relationship.
Thanks for reading,