Love is in the Air…

At my part-time gig at UPS, I work alongside a lot of young(er) people. I don’t mind working with them…until I realize that I could be their mother. Then I get a horrible pain in my gut and a sadness deep in my soul from the realization that I am no longer the youngest person in the room. Growing older is physically AND mentally painful at times. *Big sigh and some tears*.

Last night, two of the young men I work with were telling me about their love lives. Being that my dating life has been non-existent-and by non-existent, I mean as thriving as an orchid in Death Valley- I was all over this conversation.

Kevin and Cesar are both very responsible, mature, and respectful young men. I love working with them because I know they will do their jobs and do it well. Plus, I am flattered, and a little humored given my lack of a dating life, that they thought to pick my brain on the issue.

During our conversation, Kevin asked my opinion on where he should take the girl he’s interested in on a first date. Immediately my “mom-sense” kicked in and I started rattling off questions in order to learn more about her.

My savvy spy-like reporter skills acquired the following intel about the “candidate”: She’s going to school to be a vet; she likes animals (this one was kind of obvious given the vet thing); he’s known her since grade school.

 

Kevin’s main concern is that he doesn’t want to move things along too fast and take her on an over-the-top expensive date. Smart boy.

My suggestion? Day date to the Denver Zoo. It’s more casual, it involves animals, lunch is cheaper than dinner, you can walk and chat, and if she ends up being a nutter, he can blend into the crowd and run.

Check out the zoo’s site here at: https://www.denverzoo.org/

Now, being a Taurus (if you are unfamiliar with the Taurus sign, you might not know that we are the creators of love and sex. Thank you Google!) and a hopeless romantic, there is another reason behind the zoo date.

If things work out and they end up becoming a couple, he can take her to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs for their first anniversary.

The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo is unlike any zoo I have ever seen. It butts up against the beautiful mountains in Colorado Springs. The scenery combined with the animals is unmatched by any other zoo. It is has been named the 4th best zoo in America by USA Today’s 10 Best. You can check it out at this link: http://www.cmzoo.org/index.php/about-the-zoo/

Ba-bing baby! Not only will Kevin have a great first date idea, he can keep the first year anniversary plan in his back pocket.

 

Now Cesar has the opposite dilemma. He’s trying to figure out a way to back out of a date. While he likes the girl, she has too much personal drama and issues going on. Another smart boy!!

Before really getting to know this gal, Cesar invited her on a camping trip over the upcoming spring break. Knowing what he knows now, he wants to un-invite her but doesn’t want to come off as an ass. I get it, no one wants to be a jerk.

My suggestion? Casually throw out the words “extreme camping” the next time he talks to her about the trip. Tell her that she will need to pack light because they will be hiking into the woods. Stress the fact that there will be no toilets or running water; the bathroom is the closest tree so bring toilet paper. Ask her if she’s skilled at gutting fish. Remind her to bring bug spray and a snake bite kit. Reiterate that she will be hanging out with ten guys…without cell phone service or another female to talk to for miles. MILES! Basically, scare the crap out of her and let her back out.

Image result for girl peeing in the woods

Don’t get me wrong, I love camping- even remote tent camping. But when it comes to squatting out in the wilderness to take a pee….mmmm, no thanks I’ll pass.

In addition to date ideas, I made sure to school them both on a few red flags to look for in any girl.

-If she never, ever offers to pay for anything- popcorn, the tip, an Uber, a box of Kleenex, etc.- kick her to the curb.

-If she starts to demand every waking minute of your time and your relationships with your friends, family, work, and school begin to suffer- kick her to the curb.

-If she goes days without responding back to you, either by a phone call, email, text, smoke signals, carrier pigeon- you get the idea-for no reason other than to play hard to get- kick her to the curb.

Disclaimer: The above mentioned curb kicker does not mean that anyone, guy or girl, should be expected to respond to your text, email, or call immediately or even a couple of hours after you reached out. However, if you repeatedly try to reach her and she casually responds back days later with no valid excuse or acceptable explanation, then adios muchacha.

-If she plays any sort of game that makes you feel terrible about yourself- to the curb sister!

In reality, the above red flags pertain to both men and women.

By no means am I an expert at dating. But, I have learned a few lessons along the way and I think passing them on to the younger folk is important. No one likes heartache and if they go into a relationship with eyes wide open, they can skirt a possible unhealthy relationship.

Thanks for reading,

-t.

 

2 comments / Add your comment below

  1. I look more at a marriage designed by God, sometimes we rush into a relationship, not really knowing the other person. What if’s?? play an important thoughts in the future? what kind of character and respect do they show you and others? ie. are they honest or crafty? What are they looking for in a mate? and on and on? Marriage is I feel a promise to God and others that no matter what happens in their life they promised to go through the storm. No backing out, your either all in or your not. Genesis 2:24 therefore a man shall leave father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. ESV . One flesh is something like losing part of yourself, yes you can live but in divorce part of you is missing. God has his own rules for persons wanting out of the marriage. Another example I can think of is great athletes put 100% in there sport, if they don’t they are not the best. If only people could do the same thing regarding their marriage. yes, the studies talk about marriage as failing. 40-50% but do they do studies on how many partners (not married) are still together today. walking away from a partner who you’ve had separate lives, is so much easier. I believe when you love someone you your taking a chance, but that is your choice and only yours. Thats why you as person have to look very deeply into the person and not be deceived by love, great sex or material items. the Bible is the source of marriage, people make mistakes but like God he is always there to forgive you. I also married someone who I did not love, it was painful time in my life, his physical and emotional abuse made it easy to tear the flesh away. But prayer brought a man who healed my brokenness and taught me to love unconditional. my flesh was healed. God is good, all the time, all the time God is good.

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