It’s no doubt that Don Luigi thinks he’s above everyone. From his judge-y eyes to snorts of disgust, The Don is royalty in his own mind.
That’s why I wasn’t surprised when he claimed various “thrones of judgment” around my house.
His outside throne consists of a patio chair, positioned to where he can look out over his land and survey the peons of the world.
The landscaper? Peon.
The mail person? Peon.
Neighbors? Annoying peons.
Anyone walking by the deck where The Don is perched on his throne gets the “stare of judgment”. The “stare of judgment” is how The Don tells you without using words that, well, basically you disgust him. I see it a lot, believe me.
In addition to the “stare of judgement”, The Don will mean mug any passers-by that we encounter on our walks. The other day I had to pull him along because he was in a stare down with a toddler. A TODDLER.
Inside the house, Don Luigi has claimed a rocking chair as his “throne of judgment”.
This throne is a lot more fun because The Don will sit in it and just stare as you and whoever else is in the room. It’s a fabulous way to get a complex and if you didn’t feel self-conscious before hand, you do now. Many times I have been the victim of the rocking chair throne, feeling The Don’s beady little eyes boring into my brain from across the room, as I inhale the stench of his disgust for deciding to watch TV rather than play with him (despite the fact that I just spent an hour walking and playing with him).
And his disapproval of people and dogs isn’t confined to home. At daycare they have to de-throne him throughout the day.
His favorite spots to lord over the other dogs is the playhouse and on the plastic stairs.
There, The Don sits, prepping his canine comrades for overthrowing the entire daycare operation. The Don is mafia to the bone.
I have accepted the fact that I am a servant to this little overlord of hell. The keeper of the demon of disappointment.
But you know, maybe that’s why our paths crossed in life. The Don dishes out all of the disgust and I do the apologizing for it.
Thanks for reading,